donderdag 26 april 2012

Vierenzestig zaken waarom ik van Israël hou

Mijn favorieten uit de top 64 wat Israël tot Israël maakt en dat je in weinig landen tegenkomt. Voor hen die Israël kennen zal het een feest van herkenning zijn, voor hen die er nog nooit geweest zijn een mooie kennismaking.

Since making aliyah in 2006, Benji Lovitt has spent roughly every waking moment doing one of the following: trying to make people laugh, eating chumus, or writing about chumus to make people laugh… 

In what has become something of an annual tradition, comedian Benji Lovitt lists 64 things he loves about Israel. Happy Independence Day from The Times of Israel!

1. I love how Israelis can be completely indifferent to politics but will still argue about their favorite hummus place until they blow an artery.
4. I love that after striking up a conversation with a complete stranger at the Ben-Gurion baggage claim, not only did he offer me a ride home but we also discovered that we shared over 60 mutual Facebook friends. Seriously, how are there any Jews who still don’t know each other?

5. I love that because we were unable to get home due to the Jerusalem Marathon, we agreed that our driver would drop us off somewhere else, take our luggage to his home in Ma’ale Adumim, and deliver it to us later, with not a fear in the world that it wouldn’t go exactly as planned. The guy got out of his car to bring the bag all the way to my door. Now that’s service.

6. I love how the worker at Bank Leumi decided she could call me “motek” (schatje) after knowing me for all of 2.4 seconds.
8. I love how when you call a wrong number on Passover, they still say “hag sameah” (prettige feestdag) before hanging up.

13. I love that the owner of the makolet (kleine supermarkt) across the street carried my roommate’s groceries home just because. Strange that batting my eyelashes hasn’t worked for me.

14. I love that a sherut driver will divert from their route to make sure a little girl gets home safely, coordinating with the other drivers over their CBs like the Israeli Dukes of Hazzard. (With the way she dressed, are we sure Daisy wasn’t a Southern freha?)

17. I love that you can discover at a Shabbat dinner that three different women share the same gynecologist. I couldn’t decide whether to be impressed or uncomfortable.

18. I love that certain stores advertise their dependability by claiming to be open “24/6.”
19. I love that this gas station offered a Friday special of a free newspaper and Shabbat hallah with a purchase of 180 shekels of gas:
Not seen in this advertisement: a purchase of 250 shekels gets you a brisket and an autographed copy of Rabbi Shmuley Boteach’s “Kosher Sex.”

23. I love that during my pre-checkup small talk, my doctor asked me to review the Hebrew inscription he had written for his mother’s headstone before talking to me about Shai Agnon and Hebrew literature. I know doctors sometimes run late but that was a first.

27. I love that during the tent protests, some protesters set up makeshift communal kitchens. Even when pretending to be homeless, Israelis still make fresh salads.

32. I love that during a massive delay in the re-ticketing line at Ben-Gurion, the airport staff passed out croissants and beverages.

35. I love that my Arab cab driver says “baruch Hashem” (met Gods hulp) in Hebrew.

36. I love that Arab guys scream “Alte zachen!!!” in YIDDISH. I guess this is less surprising when you consider that our slang is in Arabic. Sababa!

39. I love that when someone accidentally drops a dish, everyone in the vicinity screams “mazal tov!”

40. I love that kids can walk home at any hour in this country and feel safe. While this may be an adjustment for children of olim, the biggest thing they need to worry about is their overprotective parents.

49. I love that people get more excited about the prospect of snow than teenage girls at a Justin Bieber concert. Which is surprising since I’ve never seen a 15-year-old faint from inclement weather.

50. I love that there are approximately 21 million news sources from Israel all over the political spectrum, approximately 2.711 for every citizen who thinks he could run the country better than the government at any given time.

51. I love that even after five and a half years in Israel, the women still become approximately 478 times hotter the minute I hear Hebrew come out of their mouths.

55. I love that Shelly Yachimovich’s winning the Labor party election at the time gave women the leadership of two of Israel’s biggest political parties. Golda power!

56. I love how, when I told my friend I was moving to Spinoza St. and wondered aloud who he was, he took three steps towards the bookcase and grabbed a book about Spinoza himself.
On second thought, achi, I’m moving to Rechov Million Dollars…

61. I love that when I go back to America, I feel like Marty McFly returning to 1985 in an alternate reality, recognizing that there is so much more to life than most people realize.
63. I love that Gilad is home with us where he belongs and the incredible feeling of peoplehood and family we all felt on the day he came home. I can’t imagine having been anywhere else. Welcome home, Gilad.

Voor alle 64 zaken lees >>> hier verder <<<